Chess Swifties
A Tom Swifty is a phrase in which the quoted sentence is linked
to a pun. Tom Swifties
derive their name from Tom Swift, a courageous and inventive hero and inventor
in adventure novels that first appeared in 1910. The series main writer
was Edward Statemeyer (1862-1930) who gave Tom a
simple statement and added a qualifying adverb to make a pun. Tom Swift
never simply said “said.” He had to say something modestly or bravely or
eagerly, or…swiftly.
If Tom
Swift was a chess player, here is what he might say.
“There is
room for one more in the chess tournament,” Tom said admittingly.
“Push
those passed pawns,” Tom advanced.
“I mailed
the last move in our correspondence game,” Tom assented.
“I play
the Colle,” Tom barked.
“I forgot
how to play chess,” said Capa blankly.
“Let me
play a chess game without looking at the board,” said Tom blindly.
“I’ll use
my own chess set,” said Tom bored.
“I’ll
play the Indian Defense,” said Tom bravely.
“I was a
Class B player, but now a Class A player,” said Tom categorically.
“I’ll
annotate the game,” Tom commented.
“The
world chess federation is corrupt,” Tom confided.
“That
last move killed me,” Tom croaked.
“I play
the Bird Opening,” Tom crowed.
“IBM made
a strong chess computer,” Tom said in deep thought.
“I play
the Sicilian, Caro-Kann, and Alekhine’s,”
said Tom defensively.
“I play
1.c4,” Tom said in English.
“But the
game is drawn,” said Tom evenly.
“I am
rated over 2000,” said Tom expertly.
“It’s
touch move,” said Tom with feeling.
“The
chess game is over,” Tom said finally.
“I lost
in two moves,” Tom said foolishly to his mate.
“This
game looks like a Marshall swindle,” Tom said frankly.
“I play
1.e4 e6,” Tom said in French.
“Nay, I
lost my knight,” said Tom hoarsely.
“I have
written over 100 books on chess,” Ray said keenly.
“I am
rated over 2200,” said Tom masterfully.
“Those
chess automatons were pretty good,” Tom said mechanically.
“I’ll
push a pawn,” Tom moved.
“Caissa was with me,” Tom mused.
“I’ll
play without a pawn,” Tom said oddly.
“I played
chess at the hospital,” Tom said patiently.
“I won
all my games,” Tom said perfectly.
“Let’s
have another game of chess,” Tom said playfully.
“I’ll
play the Bayonet Attack,” Tom said pointingly.
“Should I
play 1.e4 or 1.d4?” Tom pondered.
“Paul Morphy was a great chess player who quit chess,” Tom said
with pride and sorrow.
“How do I
solve this mate in three?” said Tom puzzled.
“Let’s
play Chess 960,” Tom said randomly.
“Your
cell phone just went off! You lose.” Tom rang out.
“I play
blitz chess,” Tom said rapidly.
“I joined
the chess club again,” Tom remembered.
“I beat
Peter Leko, then I beat
Peter again,” said Tom repeatedly.
“I play
the Spanish Opening,” Lopez said ruefully.
“Let’s
play bullet chess,” Tom shot back.
“I played
10 people blindfolded,” Tom said simultaneously.
“I play
the Benoni,” Tom said sorrowfully.
“Let’s
play blitz chess,” said Tom swiftly.
“My flag is down,” said Tim timelessly.
“J’adoube,” said Tom
touchingly.
“I just
beat Korchnoi,” said Tom victoriously.
“I study
chess every day,” said Tom weakly.
“Am I going to checkmated you?” Tom wondered.